Dive into the dugout of humor with these side-splitting funny baseball quotes that capture the essence of America’s favorite pastime. From legendary players to witty commentators, these lines will have you laughing.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine
innings. Earl Wilson
When they start the game, they don’t yell, “Work ball.” They
say, “Play ball.” Willie Stargell, 1981
When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and
go back. Woody Allen
A baseball park is the one place where a man’s wife doesn’t mind
his getting excited over somebody else’s curves. Brendan Francis
There have been only two geniuses in the world. Willie Mays and
Willie Shakespeare. Tallulah Bankhead
Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It’s the only
way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a
riot. Dick Gregory
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World
Series? No cubs. Harry Caray
Confucius say: Baseball wrong – man with four balls cannot walk.
Author Unknown
With the money I’m making, I should be playing two positions.
Pete Rose, 1977
Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day.
Aren’t we all? Vin Scully
Cricket is baseball on valium. Robin Williams
Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last
in medical school and they call you Doctor. Abe Lemons
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. Dizzy Dean
I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on
the batter a rally. Rich Donnelly, minor league manager
Let no one accuse baseball of not being tough on drugs. During
his baseball career, Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime
suspensions. Bill Ferraro, baseball fan.
I could never play in New York. The first time I came into a
game there, I got into the bullpen car and they told me to lock
the doors. Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles
On his own scouting report: “Very deceptive. Slower than he
looks. Joe Garagiola
A lot of things run through your head when you’re going in to
relieve in a tight spot. One of them was, ‘Should I spike myself
? Lefty Gomez
Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist. Hank Greenwald,
on Bruce Sutter
Aron Wallad has been a baseball lover for over 45 years. His
passions have included; playing, watching, reading, evaluating,
and coaching the game he adores. Do you love inspiring quotes,
unusual statistics and most of all, heartwarming baseball
stories? If you love baseball you will love his baseball ezine.
Go here right now to join his ezine
http://www.baseballsprideandjoy.com/index.php?tag=goart
Article from articlesbase.com
Whether you’re a dedicated fan in Atlanta or just enjoy a good laugh, these funny baseball quotes perfectly capture the lighter side of the game.
From legendary players to iconic managers, the best funny baseball quotes often reveal the sport’s unique charm and challenges.
Related Bankhead Articles
Curated Literature & Atlanta Downtown Calendar
The Architecture of Focus: Deep Work & Modern Mastery
By Founders Library Press
A structured framework for strategic clarity, productivity, and authentic execution.
Upcoming Downtown Happenings
Live acoustic sessions, gallery receptions, literary salons, and independent trade shows across Atlanta.